What Is Love?
by AliVal13
Summary: For as long as Cloud has known the guy, he has always wanted him. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn't seem to be what Leon wants.
1. Introduction

DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the following characters

WARNING - Everything, baby

RANT - I do admit... I am currently half drunk at the moment.

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"Who do you think you are?" He asked in such a simple way. "Say it now, say it proud! Who are you?"

"A... whore man..."

"Louder!"

"A whore man.

"LOUDER!"

"A whore man!"

"LOUDERRRR!"

"I'M A BIG FAT, STINKIN' WHORE!"

"You're not fat or stinky..."

"Thanks."

Cloud Strife was sitting on the couch across from an old friend, someone he always considered to be his little brother; a sarcastic, childish brunet-haired youth by the name of Sora. He sighed as he pushed some of his wild blond locks from his face, looking less then confident. "Are you sure...? I mean, you're not a slut... What makes you think guys like that?"

"Because I'm not a slut in general, I'm a slut in private." Sora smacked the side of Cloud's head, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to get his point across. "Get it right! I'm a private slut, but you have to be in that state of mind to really turn a guy on."

"... I remember when you used to be innocent. Is this really what Riku has reduced you to?"

"I love him, dumby." Sora began, all too cheerfully- giving his trade mark grin. He leaned back in his seat, hands conjoined behind his head. "I do it _because_ I love him... and I just know from general experience-"

"You mean your slutty friends?" Cloud asked sweetly.

"I know from /general experience/..." Sora continued, giving Cloud a warning glare, "that guys love that kind of stuff in general. And come on... If anyone is a closet horn-dog, it has to be Leon. He's like a big lion in disguise. His name even _sounds_ like 'lion'!"

Cloud just grumbled something under his breath, not liking the sound of this at all. "Well... I guess... It can't hurt to try something new... as long as it doesn't involve me cross-dressing or something. Once is well enough for a life time, thanks."

"... You cross-dressed before?"

"...No."

"Uh... huh. Anyway..."

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Short. Silly. I giggled.

Read and review?

No flames.


	2. The First Attempt

Not that many people care, but here's an update. x3 Enjoy.

Oh, and for anyone interested, I have started a discussion and role playing forum. **sokh dot proboards dot com**. I'd write it as a link, but fanfiction deletes it.

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"Go on... Just do it. He'll be jumping on you faster then a fat kid on fries!" Hissed Sora between two cupped hand, pouting angrilly at his blonde friend. He was somewhat hidden in a small alley, his bum nearly bumping into two trash cans that desperately needed emptying as he bent forward to watch Cloud.

"Sora, this is incredibly, mind blowingly stupid..."

"Oh! There he is! Hurry, in position!"

"Sora- "

"Quit arguing! You look great, remember that!"

Cloud was standing at the edge of two streets, wearing the tightest leather pants he had ever worn in all his life and a bowtie. His cheeks barely tinted pink as a small corvette of young girls giggled and whistled at him as they drove past. The air was somewhat chilly, making Cloud's fit body stiffen and goosebumps rise. It was hard enough trying to ignore the conditions and keep a stony aura about him, the closest he would ever come to confidence, but the way his pants would squeak from every small move to adjust himself made it a thousand times worse. An elderly woman quirked a brow at his lack of clothes, muttering about young men losing their minds.

_This better be worth the two hours it took to oil my thighs enough to slip these damn pants on..._ "I don't see him." Cloud hissed back, not bothering to really look around at all. He was too busy trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

"... What the hell are you wearing?"

If Cloud were less of a man, he would have squeaked from surprise. He jumped out of his hugging position and turned to stand straight before a tall brunette. The man that there before Cloud had steel-blue eyes, a scar over thed bridge of his nose and nearly into one eye, a thick layering of clothes, and a bag of groceries in hand. He quirked one fine, brown brow at Cloud- frowning as he always did.

Sora stared at Cloud's bare back, urging silently for Cloud to react. He screamed in his head at his friend, who stood there a moment with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape.

"I... I, uh..." Cloud gulped, clearing his throat gently. "I..." _Remember the line Sora gave you: 'Are you tired? 'Cause you've been screwing me in my head all day!' Crap, what a stupid line... I can't believe I actually let him talk me into this! New tactic. _"I forgot..."

Sora slapped himself in the forehead, giving Cloud a flat look.

Leon quirked his brow even higher at that. He shook his head, bending down to put his paperbag full of fruits down on the ground for a moment.

Cloud wasn't paying attention to Leon anymore, he was instead looking anywhere but. He sighed in his head, trying his best to stay stiff and as confident as possible. Probably thinks I'm some lunatic now.

"Wha...!" Cloud jumped as something thick and smelling of cowhide hit his head. Immediately, Cloud was engulfed in the smell of cheap deodorant and cologne. As tempted as he was to just stand there and breathe it in, he jerked it off his face, holding the jacket in his hands. "Why did you throw this on me?"

"Put a top on." Was all Leon said, retrieving his bag of health goods and moving to walk past Cloud. He didn't even look back at the blond, just waltz right by as if he had never stopped.

Cloud turned as Leon passed him by, moving to put Leon's jacket over his shoulder. He sighed again, this time where anyone could hear it- looking a little lost. Like a puppy who didn't know his master would be coming home soon. He zipped up the jacket, pulling the collar in close.

"Mm..." Cloud wrapped the jacket tight around his torso. "It smells just like him..."

"You're pathetic!" Sora jumped out from where he was hiding in the alley, jumping onto Cloud from behind.

"There was no way in hell I was going to say that line." Cloud stated firmly, knocking the small brunette off.

"Why not?" Sora moved to stand in front of Cloud, crossing his arms and pouting. "It tells him exactly what you mean!"

"It makes me look like a loser!"

"Oh, forget it. Too late anyway... Guess we'll have to go with Plan B now."

"Plan... B? Oh no..."

"Oh yes! In the mean time, we should take this as a victory!"

:"Why?"

"Because... If he didn't at least somewhat like you, he wouldn't have offered his jacket!"

"... Maybe." _Or maybe he just thinks I'm ugly and wanted me to cover it up..._

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Yes, this is meant to be crappy and funny and maybe somewhat cute and emo. So, soak it in. x3


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